The Family of Harriet Rose Elliot and T. Sutherland Stayner.

Harriet Rose Elliot, daughter of William Elliot and Mary Oliphant, date unknown.

Harriot Rose Elliot was born to William Elliot and Mary Oliphant on July 31, 1848 in Dundas, Ontario.   Her siblings were Robert Watt Elliot (b. 1835, m. Catherine Ann Scott), Mary Elliot (b. 1841, m. John Galloway Scott), and Cynthia Jane Elliot (b. 1854, unmarried).  Harriet Rose was named after her first cousin once removed, Harriet Rose (Elliot Wilkes) Parke,  the daughter of Josiah Elliot, Robert Elliot's brother.   When Harriet was about two, the Elliot family moved to Toronto, where Harriet's father William Elliot set up a thriving pharmaceutical factory.  Harriet was to live in Toronto for the rest of her life.

On April 29, 1881, in Toronto,  Harriet married Mr. T. Sutherland Stayner, a widower with one son.  She was 33 years old and, like the rest of her family, a Baptist;  he was 55 and an Anglican.  On the marriage license, Stayner put "Gentleman" as his occupation.  In reality, he was a businessman, and probably met Harriet through business connections with her father William.  The Toronto Globe newspaper announced their marriage on Friday April 30, 1880, on p. 4:

"Married.  At Fernyhurst, Toronto, on the 29th, by the Rev. Dr. Castle, T. SUTHERLAND STAYNER, Esq., to HARRIET ROSE, third daughter of William Elliot, Esq."

Harriet married into an interesting family;  T. (or Thomas) Sutherland Stayner was one of sixteen children born in Quebec City to Thomas Allan Stayner and his wife Louisa Sutherland.

Quebec City, Anglican Garrison,Baptismal certificate for T. Sutherland Stayner.

Here is what the Dictionary of Canadian Biography has to say about Stayner's father, Thomas Allen Stayner, who died before the couple were married:

"STAYNER, THOMAS ALLEN, soldier and postmaster general; b. 16 Dec. 1788 at Halifax, son of John Stayner and Mary Allen; d. 23 June 1868 at Toronto, Ont.

Thomas Allen Stayner, a descendant of a New England Puritan family, joined the British army and in 1808 was working as a clerk to the military secretary at Halifax. During the War of 1812 he was in Montreal. On 15 May 1817, at Champlain, N.Y., he married Louisa, younger daughter of Daniel Sutherland*; they were to have 16 children. Stayner remained in the regular army probably until 1823. The following year he was appointed postmaster at Quebec.

In 1827 Stayner succeeded his father-in-law as postmaster general of Upper and Lower Canada, where there were then more than 80 post offices. Since 1821 the Houses of Assembly of the two provinces had been challenging London’s right to control postal services, fix rates, and have the benefit of the receipts. They regularly asked that this right be yielded to them. The real struggle began under Stayner. A few months after taking office, Stayner increased the number of post offices and added numerous couriers in recently settled regions. However, he acted without the authorization of his immediate superior, the British postmaster general, who criticized him for these excessive expenditures.

Stayner also incurred the wrath of the assemblies of the two Canadas and then of the Province of Canada, both at that time and until 1851. They denounced as illicit the profits he obtained by fixing the rates on Canadian newspapers; the postmaster general was allowed to keep revenue from that source, and Stayner thus received almost as large a salary as the governor general. The commissions of inquiry regularly set up by the assemblies recommended provincial post offices be established under the assemblies’ control so that the postal revenues would be paid to Canada rather than to England.

Stayner also became the target for businessmen and for newspapers such as the Colonial Advocate of York (Toronto) and the Montreal Gazette. He was blamed for high rates, slow service, and dispatch of receipts to England. For some time he could count on the support of London and of political friends who held the executive power in Canada. Eventually, however, he could no longer satisfy both the British minister and the Canadian Houses of Assembly. Consequently, he gradually lost his prerogatives. In 1844 the right of the postmaster to retain the proceeds from the newspaper rates was abolished; as compensation, London granted Stayner an annual income of £2,500, although his successors were to receive only £1,500. That same year the central office was moved to Montreal, and the governor assumed the right to appoint and dismiss postmasters and to fix rates. Finally, on 6 April 1851, the assembly of the Province of Canada acquired full power over postal services...  The services had improved under Stayner’s direction: between 1845 and 1851 the speed of service had increased and hundreds of post offices had been opened so that by 1851 there were 853. Stayner knew how to win the esteem of his British superiors but he lost his popularity in Canada. Hence in 1851 he retired disappointed, but not poor.

In addition to his duties as postmaster general, Stayner was appointed a member of the Royal Institution for the Advancement of Learning in 1834, justice of the peace for Quebec district in 1838, and justice of the peace for Trois-Rivières district in 1839. Little is known about the last years of his life. After having lived in Montreal from 1844 until at least 1851, Stayner settled in Toronto and apparently became a director of the Bank of Upper Canada, and its vice-president in 1860."

 

Portrait of Thomas Allen Stayner, 1856, by Frederick W. Lock. 

The post office appears  to have been family concern;  this excerpt from the 1848 Canadian Almanac and Directory indicates that T. Sutherland's early career was spent with his father.

Stayner's first marriage, on May 21, 1857, to Mary Caroline Jenkins, took place in Quebec, where their son Winslow Sutherland Stayner was born on March 31, 1859.   Winslow was baptized at the Anglican Holy Trinity Church in Quebec City. In the 1861 census Thomas, Mary and Winslow are living in Richmond, Canada East, and Thomas refers to himself as a gentleman farmer.  By the 1871 census they have moved to Toronto and the three of them are living in St. David's ward;  unfortunately, the census lists no occupation for Thomas.  Mary Caroline Stayner died in Toronto on May 14, 1876, of "dropsey from Bright's disease of kidneys".  Her son would have been 17.  Thomas married Harriet Rose five years later.

Thomas and Harriet appear on the 1881 census living in St. Thomas Ward, right beside Robert Watt Elliot,  his wife Catherine Scott and their family, William Elliot and Mary (Oliphant) Elliot next door, and on the other side John Galloway Scott, Minnie (Elliot) Scott and Arthur Scott. Stayner lists his occupation as "Gentleman" on this census.   Winslow is not living with them.  Shortly after their marriage Thomas Sutherland and Harriet Rose have two children:  Harry Sutherland Stayner is born on January 26, 1882, and Dudley Sutherland Stayner is born on June 30, 1884 (his parents address is listed as 273 Jarvis Street, and his father's occupation is again "Gentleman").

I can't find the Stayner family on the 1891 census, but they do appear on the 1901 census;  the two sons are listed as students, and interestingly, although Thomas is still listed as Anglican, Harriet and the two young men are Baptist.   Harriet seems to be raising her children in the faith of her birth family.  They are no longer surrounded by family;  the district on the census is Toronto East, Ward 2. 

The entries below, from the Toronto City Directory, provide some clues to T. Sutherland's career.  In 1883 he was a working man, but it's not clear what he does;  from at least 1890 to 1894 he is President of a mortgage and investment company.  I can't seem to find out much about this company--I wonder if it is related to the Bristol, West of England and South Wales Permanent Building Society, which was founded in 1850 and operated out of Bristol, England. 

 

Toronto City Directory 1883 entry for T. Sutherland Stayner, p. 64.

Toronto City Directory 1890, entry for T. Sutherland Stayner, p. 1211.

Toronto City Directory, 1894, entry for T. Sutherland Stayner, p. 1338.

In 1889 both T. Sutherland Stayner and William Elliot's names appear on an Act of Parliament for the purpose of creating a new company, The Assets and Debenture Company of Canada.  Was he involved in both companies at once, or did the Assets and Debenture Company of Canada fail to get off the ground? 

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And finally, in 1900, the Imperial Bank of Canada's Proceedings of Special and General Meetings lists T. Sutherland Stayner on its Board of Directors.

The website for the Stayner, Ontario, weather station speaks briefly about the history of the Stayner family in the area.  It refers to Thomas being active in real estate as early as 1864:

"For a number of years Stayner was known as Nottawasaga Station...About the year 1857, Stayner was called Dingwall after a lumberman in the area.  In 1864 it was renamed Stayner, in honour of Thomas Stayner, the Deputy Postmaster General.  His son Sutherland Stayner owned a great deal of land in the area and was prominent in real estate.  In 1870, Sutherland Stayner donated the land and $200.00 to build the Church of the Good Shepherd.  However he would not allow a cemetery to be built around the church, since he felt the town would develop in this area."  

Meanwhile, Harriet seems to be living the life of an upper-middle-class wife and "charming hostess".  It's interesting to see the names in her circle of friends:

The Mail and Empire, Toronto, Friday May 27, 1898. "On Dit" social column. I wonder which Miss Elliot was there?

Harriet's social life was recorded by "On Dit" several times;  on April 17, 1889, the paper reported that "Mrs. Sutherland Stayner has invited friends to five o'clock tea this afternoon to meet Lady Tilley." 

On June 11, 1904, T. Sutherland Stayner died (of apoplexy, according to his death record).  His record also states that he was living at Davisville and Balliol at the time of his death.  He would have been  79 years old, and Harriet would have been 56, when he died. Here is his obituary, from the Globe newspaper in Toronto, published June 14, 1904, p. 12:

"DEATH CAME SUDDENLY.  Mr. T. Sutherland Stayner, a Highly-respected Citizen, Dies at Eglinton.  Death came suddenly to Mr. T. Sutherland Stayner at his residence, Hillside, Eglinton, on Saturday afternoon.  Mr. Stayner had been in the city on business in the morning, and, returning home, had walked from the Yonge Street crossing to his residence, when a sudden attack of weakness overcame him, and he died within a very short time.  Deceased was in his 80th year.  

Mr. Stayner was a member of a very well-known and most respected family, after whom the Town of Stayner was named. His father, Hon. Thomas Stayner, was Deputy Postmaster-General of Canada when that office was under the control of the British Government.  He resided in Quebec, and later in Montreal.  The late Mr. Stayner assisted his father for a time in his official work.  He then invested extensively in timber...and was interested in the lumber business in Fenelon Falls.  For years he resided at New Hurst, Richmond County, Quebec.  Coming later to Toronto...he took a prominent position in financial circles, his advice being sought by many business institutions.  At the time of his death he was a director of the Imperial Bank and of the Toronto General Trusts Corporation, and till a few years ago President of the Bristol & West of England Canadian Loan Company.

Mr. Stayner was twice married, his first wife being the widow of Captain Hale.  She left one son, Rev. W.S. Stayner, now rector of Aldham, Colchester, England.  Mr. Stayner's widow is a sister of Mr. R.W. Elliot.  Two sons, H.S. Stayner, at Varsity, and Dudley Stayner, at Bishop Ridley College, and one brother, Mr. Fritz Stayner of Torquay, England, also survive.  The funeral was held privately yesterday morning, Rev. T.W. Paterson of Christ Church, Deer Park, officiating."      

The database "England and Wales, National Probate Calendar 1858-1966" has an entry for Thomas, which suggests he had property in England as well as Canada.

Tragically, in February of 1905,  Harry Sutherland Stayner, Thomas and Harriet's oldest child, died at the age of 23.  No cause of death is given on the death record.  Their son Dudley, however, was to survive World War I and many years afterwards. 

Dudley's an Anglican now! Volunteered April 1916. Two years military experience.  And he's married!

By 1911, Dudley has married a German woman named Martha or Marta, who is the same age as he is (26) and according to the census, they are living in North York with a domestic servant, which suggests that they have some money.  Dudley is a civil engineer, as it says on his declaration paper above.  Sometime between the two wars, Dudley moved to the United States.  When Harriet Rose dies of uterine cancer  in 1929, it is her niece, Helen Elliot George, who is the informant.

Harriet Rose (Elliot) Stayner is buried in St. James Cemetery in Toronto, at 

On the 1930 census, Dudley has remarried;  his new wife is named Olivia.  They are living in New York, NY and there are no children living with them.  By the time of WWII, Dudley is living in California, and it looks like he is working on a ranch!  Given his engineering background, that's somewhat surprising.  He also does not list a wife as a permanent contact.  Has Olivia died?  This card was filled out in 1942.  Dudley is 57;  due to his age, I doubt he was actually called to serve.  

According to the social security death index, Dudley died on November 23, 1968, in Modesto, Stanislaus, California.  He would have been 84 years old, and he seems to have been childless.  However, he seems to have had an active social and family life to the end, judging from this clipping from the "Modesto Bee and News-Herald", February 7, 1968:

"Dinner parties are 'in' this week at the Dudley Stayner residence in Modesto.  The goings and comings of relatives and friends have kept Mrs. Stayner busy.  Over the weekend she entertained in honor of her brother and his wife, Mr. and Mrs. Doc (L.W.) Culver of Phoenix, AZ. In to have a reunion with their Phoenix friends were the Harold Hubbards and Mr. and Mrs. Robert Stewart, niece of the hostess, all of Modesto.  The Arizonians are homeward bound after making the Stayner home their headquarters while attending business in Sacramento and surrounding areas.  Tonight, once again the Stayner home will be open to company, as the Stewarts' return with their son in law and daughter, Capt. and Mrs. Rodney Wells, en route from Travis Air Force Base to Tennessee where he will be engaged in an advanced training program. When the Wells leave, they will take along one addition to their bag and baggage--an original oil painting by Mrs. Stayner.  The seascape is a gift to Wells' mother." 
  
Here is a brief obituary for Dudley, from the same newspaper:

November 23, 1968.  Modesto Bee and News-Herald.  Notice here his wife is named Sabra:  wife number 3?

Since both of Harriet's children died childless, she has no descendents alive today.  However, remember T. Sutherland's first son, Winslow?  It's hard to know how involved he was with his father's second family, since he moved to England to attend Cambridge University as a young man and never moved back to Canada.  

Here's Winslow on the 1911 census, with a wife and three servants;  cook, parlourmaid, and housemaid.  

The database "Cambridge University Alumni, 1261-1900" has a complete chronicle of Winslow's career:  he entered Christ's College, Cambridge at Michaelmas 1878, was graduated from his B.A. in 1883 and from his M.A. in 1886.  He was ordained deacon at Worcester in 1883 and priest in 1884.  He was at the Church of St. Edmunds, Dudley, from 1883-1885, the Church of Waltham, St. Lawrence, Berks, from 1886-1888, and the Church of Clanfield, Hants, from 1888-1891.  He was Rector of Aldham, Essex, from 1891-1906.  I'm not sure what happens from then on:  the database simply says "Latterly of The Manor House, Ebford, Topsham, Devon, where he died October 30, 1932;  buried at Woodbury."  One thing I do know is that he married well--his wife's name was Alice Grace Josephine St. John Mildmay, and she was the granddaughter of a Baronet (Sir Henry St. John Carew St. John-Mildmay, who was 4th Baronet St. John-Mildmay).  They had at least one son, Joscelyn Winslow Stayner, born in 1889, who married Ethel Dora Corrie on May 18, 1917, in Boxley, Kent.  At the time of his marriage Joscelyn was 2nd Lieutenant in the 114 Mahrattas.